Being the concerned neighbor that I am, I eventually worked up enough guilt to walk around the corner of my block and knock on the door of the neighbor behind our house. She came to the door, an aging lady in her 70's, apprehensive and cautious. She kept the glass-paned storm door closed and locked. She stood poised with a stern look that could freeze water and asked, "What do you want?" I introduced myself and said that I was her neighbor to the east and told her that I was here to let her know that the recent wind storm had removed part of her upper roof by the chimney. She asked me again, what did I want and seemed to feel threatened by me.

A few years ago, this was the grouchy neighbor who kept a soccer ball that my grand-daughter had accidently kicked across the fence. Emily had walked around the block and asked if she could retrieve it. Emily came back crying because the grouchy lady said "no" and would not let her into the back yard, nor would she get it for her. So we lost a good soccer ball to this woman. That was our only dealings with her in the years we've lived there.

I was very kind and gentle with her so as not to alarm her or give any hint that I might be trying to sell her a re-roofing job or something. Again, I told her that the shingles on a big area of her roof had been blown away by the wind and that she might like to get it reparied before the rain set in. She gruffly told me that those were not HER shingles, that they belonged to a neighbor. I was surprised by her response but I assured her that they were from her roof. She modified her stern expression and said, "So WHAT makes YOU an expert?"

At this point I was poised to make an "about face" and go home. I was half way through that maneuver when I decided to tell her that I was indeed an expert in recognizing half a roof blown away and apologized for bothering her. As I took a few steps towards home, she unlocked the storm door and stepped out of her house to confront me, asking again what I wanted. I told her I believe I made a mistake in even coming over here and assured her that I wanted nothing. I said if "You don't want to do anything about it, I really don't care". Her snobby comments continued to ring in my already ringing ears as I walked around the corner and headed home.

Feelings of frustration, anger, and laughter filled me as I walked home recalling the comedy routine I had just witnessed. I thought of several unkind names that reflected this woman's personality and told God I was sorry for my thoughts.

I entered the house and told my wife that, "you're never going to believe what happened"! I relayed the story to her as it unfolded and watched her eyes widen above her gaping mouth. She was just as stunned as I was. I walked back to our kitchen window to get one more look at my neighbor's roof, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming this up! It was still there.....in all it's disarray, a section of cheap shingles torn away by a fierce easterly wind. After a few minutes of discussion, I decided to go downstairs in our split level home and work on my computer stuff.

It was about 10 minutes later that a dark sedan pulled up in front of my driveway and parked, facing the wrong direction. A familiar looking old lady in her 70's stepped out of the car, closing the door and shuffled her way up my drive. I went upstairs and told my wife that I would answer the door as I waited for the doorbell to ring.

I opened the door but did not see her standing there. I found her half way down the steps waiting for me to come outside. She had dressed in a dark businesslike outfit and had her hair swirled around and glued down like gray Cotton Candy. She said, "Are you the one who came to my house?" I said I was. She asked me "why" did I come to her house and what did I want? I realized at that point that I was not getting through that hair spray and decided to show her, as a picture is worth a thousand words. I told her she was welcome to come see for herself, as I walked back into the house.

She peered around the doorjam as if I was only there to attack her or something. My wife was standing there so she reluctantly entered the house and cautiously followed me into the kitchen. I point to our window towards her roof as she approched. When she finally saw her wind damaged roof, she was astonished. She briefly told me about her 3 layers of roofing and the quality of workmanship, and all. She said, "so you only came to tell me because......?" I said, "because I wanted to be neighborly". I told her that I wanted nothing, that my property was not damaged by her shingles blowing off, nor was I in the roofing business or wanted to fix her roof.

She apologized for her attitude and said she hoped she wasn't "too much of a pain in the...." I interruped her and told her she WAS indeed a major pain! She apologized again. She said she was known in the neighborhood to be a "B_ _ _ _" sometimes......... I told her that I felt she WAS, agreeing with the neighbors.

She walked to the kitchen table where my wife was busy doing some schoolwork. She noticed my 4th Grade Bible School materials laying on the table and began making comments and asking questions. She was very happy that we worked with children and were involved with teaching, scouts, etc. She began to tell us how she was involved with being a children's advocate and all the things she did to work with children.

She talked on and on for 30 minutes or so and I finally had enough. When she said again that she was known as the neighborhood grouch, I told her "that's the way my grand-daughter feels about her". She said, "what do you mean?" I told her about the soccer ball incident and that my little grand-daughter came home crying because someone at the house wouldn't let her come in and get her grandpa's soccer ball. The old lady said, "that would be me". (I thought it sounded like her, too.) As I told this story, the old lady's mouth dropped farther and farther and the blood seemed to run out of her face as it turned white beneath the artificial blush and mascara.

I really couldn't help myself saying this because she kept pounding in us the fact that she was an advocate of children and I thought an advocate would be kind to children. My wife reminded her that I often speak my mind.

The lady decided it was time to go and said her goodbye's. She turned and went out the door and down the steps as my wife whispered, "I hope she don't fall".

MTCHEROKEE