Prayers for Aaron

My oldest grandson, Aaron, was diagnosed with Leukemia yesterday. He is in the Children’s Cancer Ward at Emanuel Hospital. Leukemia is not a good thing; in fact, all my life I’ve only heard how bad it was. With my grandson having to bear such a grave disease, I can’t help but think about how fatal this might be. It’s hard for me to even allow that kind of thinking into my brain. How can this be? It seems like a bad dream that we will wake up from. I suppose it will be a while before the full impact of this hits me.

I was just telling a friend about how much of my life lately has been trying to help other people through their “situations” and “crisis”. The duties of a Shepherd are to attend to the needs of his sheep. Going about that work was taking my whole attention and I failed to prepare myself for the “Wolf” attack on my grandson. It got me to thinking about the bigger picture of life.

My extended family life is pretty much a zero. There are so many dynamics there that I could write a book. A lot of pain and hurt and apathy come together and display a myriad of feelings that no one likes to think about, let alone experience. But, like the Apostle Paul, I try to put those things behind me and press on.

Two brothers have failing health and incurable ailments. This weighs heavy on our mother’s heart, while she, herself, struggles with her own health problems. I will not mention some of those going through other family crisis.

Trying to plan our 3 week vacation in the midst of this entire struggle with thoughts of whether we should actually go now or not, is also a burden. At the same time that all of this is happening, my granddaughter is running away from home, skipping school, rebelling and doing things a 14 year-old should not even be exposed to.

Working on borrowed energy, trying to bear up under the weight of a heavy heart, I pause to ask for your prayers to help make it through all this. I’m tired. We are tired. The energy spent trying to hold up leaves an empty heart. I am amazed that a heart so empty can be so heavy, at the same time. I feel like the teacher who needs to be taught; the counselor who needs counseling; the parent who needs parenting. I feel like I give what I need myself.

The interesting thing about life is that each of us will go though much “stuff” in our lifetime. We all bear up under its weight in different ways. Some people withdraw into themselves, or into their immediate families. Some people experience such depression that they never recover and go through life unable to even tend to their own personal hygiene. Some people experience stress that sends their health beyond cure. Still others are resilient and bounce back under all circumstances. But for the Grace of God, I suppose we could be any of those people.