All I want for Christmas is a Root Canal….

Wednesday afternoon I reclined in the Dentists’ chair while a masked man with noisy tools began working inside my mouth. He kept saying, “Open wider….wider….wider” as if I could actually DO that! It appeared that my lower jaw tooth was “dead”, as he had previously tested it with an instrument that did electrical prodding. He wasn’t certain his prod tool was working until his lovely masked assistant told him to try it on a good tooth; which he did! As I came down off the ceiling I said, “Yes, the tool is working!”

So with the tooth being “dead” the masked man thought he would try the drilling part without pain killer; which he proceeded to do. We were fine the first couple of inches; then he struck a nerve! Yes, a live nerve! He said, “Okay, so there’s some life left in that one…but I can’t understand why”. At the same time, his lovely masked assistant was preparing a syringe of Cobra venom, or something, which would paralyze my face.

The needle was looooong and ominous. He began telling me to do the “open wider” part until it cut off the air supply to my lungs and I had trouble breathing. He went away and soon returned to inquire about the tingling feeling. I could still feel my face but my ear was beginning to hurt. As I rubbed my ear he asked if it hurt and what about my lip. I told him my lip still had feeling, but I had lost it to my ear lobe. I told him that the needle went so deep that it came out in my ear. He didn’t think that was possible. I told him I had no feeling in my ear lobe and asked if he could go ahead and pierce my ear and sell me an earring.

After more drilling, the masked man struck another nerve and, of course, I jumped like the weenie that I am. He said “whoa” and removed the drill, only to pick up a small sharpened probe and poke the uncovered nerve. Another, more serious, jump this time confirmed his suspicions that a second nerve occupied the “bad” tooth. At that point the lovely masked assistant handed him another syringe of Cobra venom and we waited some more.

By now my face was so numb a rat could chew it off and I wouldn’t feel a thing! A few more days of drilling and another 3 or 4 inches of excavation and we had arrived. He took a couple of X-rays along the way, packed the long root and smoothed it over. He told me it looked good and sent me on the way by telling me to be sure to call him at home if my face started swelling up.

I’m pretty sore today but my face looks like mine.