Today I did a search for “missing climbers” and a site popped up with the headline, “climbers missing since November are feared dead”.

“HUH??”

I was waiting in the Lounge in the Tulsa, Oklahoma airport, to board my plane for Portland, when a Southwest Airlines announcement over the intercom said, “Now Boarding non-stop to Phoenix, LA and Oakland.”

Say, “WHAT??”

Radio announcement: “The ice storm has created slick conditions. Please drive carefully.”

“REALLY??”

In this era of Political Correctness you have to be very careful what you say. For instance, one little slip of the tongue can buy you a few hours of classroom time on “sensitivity”. But the really funny stuff comes from the news media folks! It’s amazing to me how people communicate, especially in the mass media!

The scene is the approaching “cold front” from the North, and the warm, moist air coming in from the ocean. An hour before the first snowflake hits the ground the live news crew is “on the scene” in the West Hills, an area of higher elevations than downtown Portland, where the first flakes will most likely fall.

The “live coverage” starts with the Reporter standing on the street as traffic flows in the background with no “apparent” (another favorite media word) impediments. He tells us that nothing is happening, and then has the camera swing down and around to SHOW us that nothing is happening. Then it’s “back to you, Tracy”. Then Tracy says, “We’ll go back to Billy Bob for another live update in a few moments, but first, news from Hillsdale on a failed bank heist with a big shoot-out….”

So, Billy Bob comes back on in half an hour to show us the “near blizzard conditions” by turning the camera on the nearby stop sign, where three tiny icicles are beginning to form…..

Is it just PORTLAND…..or, are there others out there?? Where else, but PORTLAND, do lame reporters find jobs?? Hours later, the same lame reporter is showing us the same three icicles, now grown to 4 inches in length! But not just HIM! We now go live to 3 other lame reporters watching a few flakes fall to the ground from various vantage points across the city! The end result was after several hours of first class reporting, the winter storm dumped “more than an inch of snow” on Portland.

Are there DARWIN AWARDS for lame reporting??